SF: Church Marketing

A few years ago the youth group I was leading decided to sell car tags to the congregation of our church as a fundraiser. The white, plastic tags were printed with the church’s name, service times, and a cute little catch phrase that I can’t even remember now.

The problem with the car tags was that they
1.) Didn’t attract new people to church
2.) Didn’t encourage new visitors to come back.

So, I started thinking… what wound make someone come back to a church after a first visit – which prompted me to write this handy list of items to help with church hospitality/marketing. Here are some things that I think would help bring new and first time visitors back to the church.

1. Commemorative Photo
A few years ago my wife and I along with another couple took a weekend trip to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. We had a great time [thanks for asking]. While we were there we had the opportunity to go to Dolly Partons’s Dixie Stampede. At the “Stampede” [as us in the know call it], the first thing you do is get your picture taken by the Stampede photographer. I was confused at first, until about 45 minutes into the production when a nice lady walked up and showed us the print. Seems they sell these photos to their guest so they can remember the great time they had as a visitor to the Stampede. For only $21.95 we could have [catch that… could have] owned a photo that we could put in the back of our wedding pictures [because we look at them so often] to remind us of the great time at the Stampede.

Now, while I may sound a little sarcastic, don’t you think it would be a great idea for new visitors? You could have a faux podium set up in the welcome center that would serve as the centerpiece of your commemorative photo. Right before the choir comes in a representative from the church could find the visitor, welcome them, and offer an opportunity to purchase an item that would help them remember the first time they came to Suchandsuch Church.
The proceeds, of course, would go to the building fund.

2. Screen Printing
Nothing says advertisement like printed clothing. Everyone has a shirt with something printed on it; in fact, I buy shirts that have fake business names printed on them. Why? Because they make me feel trendy and hip [I’m not sure what trendy and hip are – that’s why I need the shirts].

Now, we’ve all seen church names on shirts too. That’s been done. My idea is to print the church name, address and service times across the backside of jeans and pants. I’m not sure why it is, but if there is writing there people look. They might as well be invited to church at the same time, right?


3.) Tomato Soup
My wife and I recently visited a church that gave us a nice welcoming gift. It was a coffee mug with a pack of hot chocolate, candy and welcome note from the pastor in it. It was all wrapped up and pretty and let us know that we were important.

My idea is to give out a can of tomato soup to first time guest. Nothing says you’re important like a generous serving of lycopene. Plus, whenever that person goes to the cabinet to make dinner and sees the can-o-soup they can say, “hey, there’s that can of tomato soup that Suchandsuch Church gave me. I should go there again this week!” Or, when they are in the grocery store they might say, “Here’s the tomato soup isle. WOW, I really need to join Suchandsuch Church and get involved there.”
Trust me, NO ONE will forget your church if you hand out cans of tomato soup to first time guests!

~~~~

Okay, I know what you’re thinking… these ideas are great! Well, as welcome as you are to trying them at your church, it is important to remember that ministry done with excellence is what attracts and keeps new guests and long time members.

Are you serving in your church? Are you serving with excellence?

SF: Righteous Ringtones

Not many people know this, but I’m an inventor.

Granted, none of my inventions have made it to production, but I have some really great ideas… at least I think I do. I would use them, and maybe you would too. Some of my more recent ideas are:

Flavored crayons
Maybe someone actually makes these, but I’ve never seen them. At least then I wouldn’t have to continually get onto my one year old for taste testing them.

Burrito tape
Who hasn’t made a messy burrito? With my burrito tape, messy, torn burritos would be a thing of the past. Just place the desired amount of the edible adhesive tape to your next Mexican mess. (This could also be used for cheap hot dog buns that bust open on the bottom.)

Books on Toilet Paper
Yeah, NO… I don’t have a fetish for T.P. I just think it is a great product. But my product would be just a little better. Just think, you could read War and Peace on the T.P. while using the T.P. When you finish a chapter, just flush away!

Now, while these ideas are great [and I know they are], they do not top my latest invention. Allow me to introduce Righteous Ringtones!

Righteous Ringtones are a must for any serious church person. There will be two versions available.

For use at Church
Every seasoned pastor knows the benefits of the dramatic pause. You know, the pause that allows the listeners to think about that last, crucial statement. Nothing, and I mean nothing, ruins the dramatic pause worse than a cell phone ringing. It not only ruins the pause, it ruins the whole mood of the service. That is where the Righteous Ringtone Church version comes in so handy. Instead of an annoying ring or polyphonic version of a Ricky Martin song, the Righteous Ringtone rings by saying statements of affirmation that any preacher would appreciate. The Righteous Ringtone Church version would ring using a strong mans voice with a different word for each ring, such as, “Amen!”, “Preach it!”, “Come on”, “Bring it!”, “Whooooo dats right!”, “UH”, “You know it!”, and “Give that Preacher a raise!”.

For use during the week
Sometimes when we are away from church we don’t act so holy. That’s where the Righteous Ringtones weekly version comes in so handy. Just think, you’re in traffic and late to work. The jerk in front of you has no idea that he is in your way so he just toodles along at the speed limit. Just when you’re about to blow your horn and ram into him [don’t act like I’m the only one that feels this way] your cell phone rings. But instead of a silly ring or a polyphonic version of a Jerry Reed song, it rings the Beatitudes as read by Sean Connery. Just think, instead of “rings”, you would hear Mr. Connery straight from Matthew 5:

3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. 10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Now, who would have road rage after a ring like that?

_________________________________________________

Coming up
I’ll be posting my summery of Paul in the book of Acts in the next day or so. Be looking for it, you might find it interesting

Sunday Funday: A Less-Serious Side of Sunday

Sundays are serious days. But sometimes it is just good to sit back and relax. That is the idea for Sunday Funday.

Sunday Funday are posts that I'll make especially for Sundays. They will be less serious and hopefully somewhat comical.

So, enjoy...